How to Let Go of Perfectionism: Affirmations and Journal Prompts

If you’re wondering how to let go of perfectionism, you’re in the right place.

I’m a recovering perfectionist, so I can’t say I have all the answers. But over the years, I’ve picked up some strategies that have helped me let go and see the beauty in imperfect action.

In this article, you’ll learn what perfectionism is and why it can be so harmful. Plus, you’ll get journal prompts for perfectionism and affirmations for perfectionism to help you on your journey towards being okay with being imperfect. Letting go of perfectionism isn’t easy, but it’s an important aspect of improving your mental health.

Let’s dive in!

What is Perfectionism?

A lot of people mistake perfectionism for striving for excellence or wanting to improve yourself. But perfectionism takes it so much further than that.

Perfectionism involves holding yourself (and sometimes the people around you) to unrealistically high standards. The standards are set so high that you couldn’t possibly meet them, so you end up feeling inadequate no matter how much you accomplish.

People with perfectionism believe they should never make mistakes and are very hard on themselves if they do.

Here’s an example. When I was a clinical dietitian, I had this overwhelming fear that I wouldn’t use up the allotted appointment time or that I would give the patient incorrect information. When those two things inevitably happened, I went into such a deep shame spiral that I couldn’t function for the rest of the day. In that case, my perfectionism actually made me worse at my job because I spiralled so far down that I had to leave work.

The problem with perfectionism is that if you feel the need to be perfect, you’re stressed whenever you don’t meet that standard (which – shocker – is all the time). In my case, it triggered my anxiety, and I ended up needing to time off work on multiple occasions to deal with it.

Overcoming Perfectionism

If you’re wondering how to let go of perfectionism, I feel you. I’ve spent years working on this with my therapist, and it’s still challenging for me. Here are some steps you can take to identify and combat perfectionism in your own life.

Learn to Recognize Perfectionism

You can’t change a behavior until you accept that it’s affecting you negatively. While there’s nothing wrong with having high standards, setting standards that are too high can severely impact your quality of life.

Be honest with yourself. Do you often have trouble meeting your own standards? Are you often frustrated, depressed, or angry when you’re trying to meet those standards? Do your high standards disrupt your life? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of those questions, you may be struggling with perfectionism.

Change Perfectionistic Thinking

One of the best ways to overcome perfectionism is to replace perfectionistic thoughts with more helpful thoughts. There are several ways of changing your thinking.

·      Realistic thinking: Instead of saying “I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I made that mistake,” try saying “making a mistake does not mean I’m stupid or a failure. Everyone makes mistakes.” It might not feel like it’s working in the short term, but with time, it will start to sink in.

·      Perspective taking: Another way of challenging perfectionistic thinking is by trying to look at the situation as an outsider would. For example, how would a close friend view the situation? Are there other ways of looking at the situation? What might you tell a close friend who was having similar thoughts?

·      Look at the big picture: People with perfectionism often get lost in the details and spend too much time worrying about the little things. Ask yourself if it really matters. If the worst does happen, would you survive it? Will it still matter in six months?

·      Compromise: This involves setting more realistic standards or being more flexible with your high standards. Ask yourself what level of imperfection you’re willing to tolerate.

Change Perfectionistic Behaviors

The key to changing perfectionistic behaviors is to expose yourself to imperfections or mistakes. This can be very confronting, and I’d highly suggest working with a therapist as you work through this process (doing this brought up a LOT of uncomfortable feelings for me and I was grateful to have a therapist to help me process them).

Here are some ideas for exposure practice:

·      Show up for an appointment five minutes late.

·      Wear a piece of clothing that has a visible stain on it.

·      Send an email that includes a few mistakes.

·      Leave a visible area in the house a little messy.

You will need to practice the exposure you choose several times before it starts to feel less anxiety-inducing. Learning how to let go of perfectionism isn’t easy. Again, I highly recommend working with a therapist as you work through this process.

20 Affirmations for Perfectionism

When you’re struggling with perfectionistic thoughts, affirmations for perfectionism can be a great way to flip the script and introduce a more helpful thought.

New to affirmations? Check out my affirmations blog post for a quick guide on what they are and how to use them.

Here are 20 affirmations for perfectionism for you to try:

1.     My achievements don’t define my worth.

2.     Everyone makes mistakes.

3.     I recognize that most people are not as hard on me as I am on myself.

4.     Mistakes are opportunities for growth.

5.     My health is more important than my projects.

6.     I will enjoy the journey and not focus on the destination.

7.     Excellence and perfection are two different things.

8.     People will love me even when I’m not perfect.

9.     I will be flexible when pursuing my goals.

10.  I do not need to control everything.

11.  I am open to embracing new opportunities and experiences.

12.  I will not let perfectionism stop me from trying new things.

13.  I am confident in my abilities.

14.  I am grateful for everything in my life, including my imperfections.

15.  I release the need for perfection and embrace the beauty of imperfection.

16.  I trust and surrender to the process.

17.  I accept that life can be unpredictable.

18.  I am flexible and resilient.

19.  I am strong enough to step out of my comfort zone.

20.  I am brave enough to show my imperfections.

Want to keep these affirmations for perfectionism handy? Download the list here!

10 Journal Prompts for Perfectionism

If you haven’t tried journaling yet, you’re missing out! Not sure how to get started? Check out my blog post about journaling for beginners for some pointers!

Here are 10 journal prompts for perfectionism to help you reflect on how perfectionism impacts your life and how you might be able to work on reducing it.

1.     What problems does perfectionism cause for you?

2.     How would your life be better if you were less perfectionistic?

3.     What negative things does your inner perfectionist voice say to you?

4.     How can you respond to the demands and expectations of your inner perfectionist?

5.     What are you afraid will happen if you’re not perfect?

6.     What do you think your perfectionism is trying to protect you from?

7.     How can you remind yourself that you are enough, just as you are?

8.     How does it feel to not do something?

9.     How can you enjoy the process or experience rather than focusing solely on the outcome?

10.  What would you tell your inner perfectionist if you could have a conversation?

Pro-tip: Print out the journal prompts and place them in a jar. When you’re in the mood, randomly pull a prompt from the jar and write about it. You can download the printable list here.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been wondering how to let go of perfectionism, you’re not alone. As someone who struggles with perfectionism, I know all too well how hard it is to learn how to let go of it.

If it feels safe to do so, challenge your perfectionistic thoughts and try exposing yourself to situations in which you’re not “perfect” (it’s best to do this with a therapist). This can be very confronting, and you might need to engage in some extra self-care on the days you complete these activities.

You can also try my affirmations for perfectionism and journal prompts for perfectionism to help you reflect on the influence perfectionism has on your life.

Have you struggled with perfectionism? How did you break free? I’d love to hear in the comments!